Adoption: A Family Choice


Addition to Melissa's Suggestions-January 2007

Melissa received the following email, with some clear information on hair, why some things don't work, suggestions for things that do work, etc.

Mellisa,

I have read some of the suggestions you have written in regards to black hair care for children (my sister in law who is caucasian found your site, she has 2 little girls). Me being an African American woman, 75% black and 25% Puerto rican (though you would never be able to tell) I must say that their is a much better alternative to putting grease on the scalp. I know that this is what is told to be the best for "kinky" hair. But actually it is not. My mother's family has many mixtures and many different textures.

But the same thing remains true for very curly dry hair, it need's moisture.Grease restricts moisture and does not penetrate through the hair or scalp. It block's the follicles and does not allow the scalp to breath. It also attracts dirt.Natural oils such as: Jojoba Oil, Pomegranate Oil, Almond Oil, Sesame Oil, ect ect. are much better for the scalp and hair, they penetrate, and they allow the scalp to breathe.As for the hair needing tension to grow, that is not true at all. Too much tension can cause traction alopecia and breakage. The reason Ethnic hair (not just black hair, any highly textured curly hair) SEEM'S to grow longer when braided is because it is in a protective style. The hair is not rubbing up against clothing or any fabric (other than silk or satin) that will suck the moisture out of it, thereby causing split ends and breakage.

What is really important is to keep the scalp clean and the hair conditioned, and MOISTURIZED! This is vital!!!!!!!!!!!! Especially the ENDS OF THE HAIR! The oldest part. A great natural moisturizer is natural unrefined Shea Butter. You are completely correct about not washing the hair when it is corn- rowed or braided due to the risk of buildup and fungus (and the smell is not pleasant!). And as you said before doing a final rinse in cold water is good because it lays the cuticle flat, seals in conditioner, and gives it a nice shine.

We are also told that too much water is bad for very textured or curly hair. This again is not true. Water by nature is a moisturizer (Think about a rose petal that is dry but then put into a glass of water....). We just need a sealant. Oil is a natural sealant. It will penetrate and coat the hair, and instead of being oily it will soak in and leave the hair soft.

I just wanted to add to some of the information you have provided, and am in no way criticizing or attacking your methods. In fact I think the section on relaxers was very important to address. So many parents do this at such a young age not really understanding the commitment or money involved. If you are going to relax your child's hair it is your responsibility to do it properly and treat it properly.



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