My Journal: By a Mother of Many Kids

Adoption: A Family Choice

My Journal: Last/Oldest entry is April 24, 2007

August 12, 2007

Well, it sure looks like I haven't kept up on this journal. I guess that is just a sign that I don't take the time to be on the internet a lot, and instead I am with the kids!!

Yesterday was a normal day, but something happened that, as my 10 year old daughter, Sandy, said, "warmed my heart." We had lots of errands and shopping to do. I stopped at a Value Village, which is my weekly stop, for clothes, books, etc. I have done this all Spring and summer, and have some great, stylish, name brand school clothes for the kids. Some were even new, with the tags still on them.

On the way home, we stopped for lunch at the drive-thru at Taco Time. Now, it would have been cheaper to just go home and fix lunch, but the kids had been so cooperative, that I decided this would be a fun treat. We drove out with our bags of warm food. As we were munching on burrito's, taco's, etc., we noticed the usual "begger on the corner." We will usually just do the common thing: ignore, and look the other way. Sometimes, their sign will say, "I'll be honest. I just want some chew, " or something like that. Other times the sign will be: "No home. No job. Anything will help. God Bless you." We still will just look the other way, and drive away without thinking about them again.

This man, so old and haggered, had a sign saying: "I am just hungry." I asked the kids if we should give him one of our taco's, and of course they all yelled, "Yesssss." I opened my window, and asked if he wanted a taco. I said we just bought it. His eyes lit up, and he came right over and said, "Thank you, yes." Then, we watched as he sat down. At first, he just sat there, looking at the taco. I thought maybe he would just throw it in the bushes. Then, we saw that he was praying. His eyes were closed. My 10 year old, said, "Mom, that so warms my heart." This warmth filled us for the whole day. Later, my 8 year old son, who has Aspergers Syndrome, (high functioning autism), said, "Guess what mom? My heart is still warm from that man on the corner." That was such a simple, easy thing to do for him, but it resulted in such a great, powerful "heart warming" adventure for us.

Tonight, we watched "Extreme Home Makeover." It is one of our favorite shows. It shows us that we are so blessed with what we have, and how little others have in their lives. It shows us that our "troubles" are nothing compared to others. We can hardly wait for the show to come up in October, the one that was done in a town kind of near us. The kids want to go back to that house, and see how it changed since we saw it. Maybe we'll do that this week.

Tomorrow, is a busy day, with 5 of the kids having dental appointments in the morning. Last week, two saw the dentist. Markeen, 2 1/2, had his dental check-up, and his teeth were great...except...he needs to see an orthondontist!! I didn't even know kids this age would see an orthodontist at this young of an age. The dentist said, that sometimes, things can be done now, which would make treatment quicker/easier in the future.

The main problem will be the "BILL" We have insurance, even a second/voluntary dental plan. It is a bit expensive, but it should cover a little bit of the bill. The kids' state medical card (for kids who have been in foster care and are considered "special needs"), does not cover any of the orthodontic care. We can't even ask for an adoption subsidy increase for orthodontia. I'm not sure what we will do, but Rita (who is now 12, 13 in December) will need braces soon. I will make some calls tomorrow, and see if we can find an orthodontist that will lower the fees slightly, and let us make lower payments for more months.

The kids want to swim at the pool at the church we have been attending. It is a Baptist church, and has a large, wonderful "camp" right near the church. They have some wonderful programs for kids, and camps during the summer. Two of the middle school kids, Rita (12) and Roger (11) went to Seattle with the youth group. They went for 4 days, and three nights, went to a Mariners game, went to a water park, a zoo, and the Space Needle. The cost for everything, including food and transportation was only $89.00!! Unbelieveable!! It is so nice to have activities such as this that are really affordable for all families.

Their summer camps are too much for us, even with the part-scholarship they offer. A small church, where Janice's friend attends, paid for 6 of our kids to go to the camp last year. They don't even know us, but their hearts just reached out to my children. I am so thankful for their generousity!!

Late in the afternoon, my adult daughter and her two kids came to visit. We are so blessed to have them live only about 2 miles away. We get to see them several times a week. Kirsten, Bea, Markeen, and I went to get my husband, and do some shopping.

We had to mail a box of braille books back to the state first, though. It is Sunday, so the lobby was open at the Post Office, but the windows were closed. I am not sure what a person would do if they were blind, though, as there were few things in Braille, and no audio of any of the instructions. But, even if they did, I'm not sure people would totally understand if the box of Braille books could be put in the big mailing container. The instructions did not include any information on parcels that were "Free for the Blind and Visually Impaired." Even the weight limits didn't make much sense to me. So, I just checked to be sure the box would fit in their container, and then pulled the handle. Yup, it seemed to work.

I had a LOT of Braille books, that Janice has already read. They were in her room for ages. Do you know how much space those Braille books take? Well, lets just say they take up a whole lot more space then a book in print. Her Bible in Braille, fills about 4 boxes!! I tried to find someone who would like to have the books for free, books like mysteries, some algerbra books, etc. but could find no one. So, I dropped them off at Goodwill. I would rather have given them away to someone for free, instead of to a place that will charge for them, but I was just too tired of storing them. Hopefully, they will be sold at a low rate, to someone who will enjoy them as much as my daughter did.

Oh yes, we also had to drop off an "entertainers Bio Card" for Janice. She was chosen to be in our County Fair, and will be singing a song she wrote. A wonderful teacher she had for Band in middle school, helped her put it together. He and his friend will be playing the guitar as backup for her. She will be singing this Friday. That is the same song she sang for Michael, from the Home Makeover. I forgot that I already wrote about that somewhere on this site. If I can figure it out, I will make a copy of her singing the song, and put it on this website, once we have it copywrited legally. It is a GOOD song. She and I went shopping the other day, and found a gorgeous dress, on sale. It is flowing, black, with an uneven hemline. It is a skirt and top, with deep blue/green flowers, and some twinkles here and there. It looks so cute on her!!

Rita, 12, just got back for her weekend soccer tournament. She just had to tell me every detail, even though it is late at night. I guess there was a lot of aggressive, pushing in the games...typical, I hear, of the higher type games. I'm not sure I like that. It seems to me that if one has to push that much, then they really aren't that good of a soccer player. I haven't seen a game yet, so I really can't say if it is "too much" or not.

Sandy, 10, just came to me to have me braid her hair, loosely, so that she doesn't get dread locks. Her hair locks up so quickly!! I spent about 1 hour getting out some locks today, and then did a deep, oil conditioning treatment. Her hair is gorgeous!! It is long, almost to her waist, if one pulls it straigth. It has gentle curls, the type that women pay hundreds of dollars to have from a bottle at a beauty shop. I then put on a silk type "do" rag, to keep the oils in her hair instead of the pillow case.

Then, Rita came back again to tell me about another soccer play. Sandy came back for a hug and kiss. Roger came to me to say I forgot to turn off the sprinklers, and he was right. So, I need to go out in the dark, and turn them off. I hope there aren't any raccoons out there. They love to come eat the cat and/or dog food, and they aren't scared to fight off a cat, or spit at our large, Newfoundland dog.

Roger just came to me...he forgot to brush his teeth. Now, he would usually not "remember" to brush his teeth at 10 PM at night, but he has a dental appointment in the morning, and he was nervous the dentist would say he hasn't been brushing enough. Hmmm, I guess he thinks one good brushing before seeing the dentist will take care of the days her "forgot." He just came back and said, "How do my teeth look? Did I get them good in the back?" They looked good to me, he turned to go back to bed, stopped, turned back to me and said, "What about the inside? Do they look good?" I think he is worried, LOL.

June 30, 2007

We just had the biggest surprise happen on Thursday: a lady from the church we have gone to for years and years, called saying someone wanted to give us a new clothes washer. At first, I was so thankful that we would be getting a new, used washer, but as the lady talked to me I realzed she meant a "new" one, you know the kind that is brand new, directly from the store!! I'm not sure who they are or how they found out, but it was delivered yesterday.

Our older one was good, but used too much, so totally gave out. A repairman came and fixed it, but then he said it actually needed something else. The cost was just too much for me to pay. I hate to cry in situations like this, but all I could say was, "I can't afford it." I then turned and walked out of the room, with tears flowing down my face. I couldn't bare to have him see me cry. It wasn't his fault and I couldn't cope with the idea that he might feel sorry for me if he saw me cry. There are so many things in life that are more important then a second clothes washer. I could have put it on our Visa bill, but it is paid in full. I do not want to use it except for real emergencies.

So, we went for about 3-4 months, with only one clothes washer. I'm sure that doesn't sound bad to you, but with there being 15 people here, we quickly got far behind. It go so bad, that I wasn't even sure if there was a floor underneath, and we all forgot what color the floor was, LOL. The dog loved it, as that is where he sleeps at night, but the smell was a bit doggy type smell...not the greatest.

I washed clothes all day, and into the evening, and I am now almost caught up!! Now, we just have to put away all the wonderfully clean clothes. I wrote a letter of thanks to the family, and put on a few family pictures. The one at the top was Roger, holding a snake. I know, not really the most beautiful picture, but it sure does experess our kids' interest and curiousity about life!!

June 17, 2007

Well....I guess I didn't get back to this journal as often as I wanted...First, my friend still hasn't been on the Montel Show. I guess that is TV life, but they may be called at a later time. Second, we still don't have a 2nd washer. That is a bit tough, and the laundry still isn't caught up. I will go through the kids' clothes, because I have discovered they have way too many things!! We'll probably give them to the mission (the clothes that is, I'll keep the kids). The kids are out of track because we just can't afford the fees, even with their scholarship. We could have done it if they let us pay a little each month for 4 months, but their expenses are high, and they needed 1/2 the fees this month, and the rest next month...plus a uniform. Oh well, we will practice during the summer anyway. We'll go to several of the schools, and use their track, and also jog along the bike/walking trails. There are many in our town, so that will be fun.

Today is Father's Day, but we celebrated yesterday. My daughter, Dorothy, is pregnant!!! We are so excited. The babe is due Jan. 11, and they probably will wait until birth to find out if it is a boy or girl. She is the one that was born in Viet Nam and is now married and a teacher in a low income school. She and my son-in-law came yesterday, because they were going to be with his dad today. We had an indoor bar-b-que, which means it was too drizzly and cold to bar-b-que outside, so we broiled the hot dogs in the oven.

My daughter, 18, who is blind, helped me by taking out the hot dogs from the wrappr and putting them on the cookie sheet. Later, another son, who is DD (he lives in a group home, but takes the bus to see us monthly) was in the kitchen. He decided that it was probably a good idea to close the oven door all the way...you guessed it, the heat built up and the dogs got burned. No problem, I just cut off the burnt parts.

Another son, who is now 39 years old...wow, it's hard to believe I have kids that old, LOL. Anyway, he has moved back to our city. I guess he just didn't like the big city life. He liked being able to go to big basketball games, etc. but not the traffic, the number of people, etc. Our city is about 200,000, so there is lots to do here, plus a major university. He came over also, and stayed until about midnight.

Today is one of those gorgeous, warm, sunny days. There is a slight breeze, and one can hear many birds. I heard their laughter and then screams. Oh my, I really need to slow down...the birds weren't screaming, my kids were screaming. Not screams of anger, but excited screams. I ran out, and there they were, almost all of them on their hands and knees, checking out the bushes for snakes. They found a few small ones, but the major scream was when one child saw a "Really big" snake. Some kids had on one glove to catch the snake, (They weren't quite trusting enough to grab them with their bare hands, LOL. But, they also didn't want to hurt them). Another held the bucket with grass and leaves and one stood off to the side, curious, but not quite sure she wanted any part of this adventure.

So far, they have found 3 different types of Gartner snakes (at least that is what we think they are based on pictures in several of their snake books). They would then let them go. Our babe, the 2 year old genius, just had to feel them, but he was willing to reach his bare hand into a bucket of 5 snakes!!! We weren't sure they snakes wouldn't bite, and didn't want him to develope a fear of snakes, so we just had him touch one of the "baby" snakes. They have been out there for about 1 1/2 hours looking for the "big one" that got away. I thought that always meant a fish, but I guess it also means snakes!! I think of the many hundreds of dollars some parents spend on their kids during the summer...trying to keep them happy and occupied, when we have so much fun right here on our acre of land.

Do I REALLY like kids? I'm not so sure. Roger, now 11 years old, just ran into the house, screaming again, or still screaming (he is ADDHD, you know). He brought in a long snake, maybe 2 feet long, and it was wiggling all over the place. I screamed out, just as I realized it was a rubber snake...

Several of the kids participate in a basketball academy on Saturdays. It is run by the neatest guy, Coach Joe, who teaches the kids so much about good sportmanship, self-esteem, etc. The "camps" last all year, on Saturdays. Most sessions are 1 1/2 hours long, and only cost $10.00 a month!! Yes, that is ten dollars a month!! It pays for the rental of the indoor gym, and awards, and such. The coaches volunteer. Last week, an assistant women's basketball coach from a college, came to talk to the kids. The Coach Joe came up to my daughter, Janice, who was just sitting there, waiting for me to go off shopping. Coach Joe asked Janice if she would sing just before the college coach spoke. Of course Janice said yes. She has no fears, and is always willing to sing. She has such a gift for singing, and sings for the pure joy. She sang the National Anthem, without music. She did great, as usual. Today, Coach Joe sent a copy of an email from another parent. Here is what a parent said:

"Just wanted to take a moment and thank you for arranging to have Kerry (the Assistant Coach from a state college) visit the academy last Saturday. While our daughter is only in 3rd grade and I am not sure how much she got out it, she wanted to be there. Through City Sports and a few years of basketball, soccer, t-ball, I have been frustrated with the level of teaching and support the students receive from what typically becomes parent coaches. Our daughter has not been a natural at sports and at those levels the one or two children that have surpassed the others in natural ability make it more challenging for the others to gain the skill, confidence, and will to participate. When our daughter Elizabeth started at the Academy, she had already said no to continue with soccer and t-ball. We were happy just to see her want to participate. She has wanted to be at the academy every week since February. She is excited about being there, playing, and learning.

As well, I was particularly thrilled when the young lady sang the National Anthem for us. My daughter and I discussed her more on the way home than we did the coach. Elizabeth is dressed for school today as Helen Keller to give a book report on her life. For her report she learned some sign language and on Saturday, while running errands just before coming to the gym for Kerry we had each spent time in stores with our eyes shut, pretending to be blind and being led through the store by the other. To see this young lady overcome the challenges in her life to accomplish what she has accomplished is inspiring. It fit perfectly with what Elizabeth had already been studying with her Helen Keller report. On the way home I told Elizabeth, �Never underestimate the power of the human spirit.� We discussed what that meant and how it applied to Helen Keller, this young lady at the academy, and to ourselves. So, thank you for a great lesson in life that Saturday afternoon provided for us.

You may want to consider a new quote/mantra-

You say- never underestimate
Students say- myself
You say- or
Student say- my opponent Thanks for all you do"

April 25, 2007

I am SOOOO excited!!! My friend will be flying out with her husband, to NYC to be on the Montel Williams Show!!! This is one great person, pretty normal in most ways, though.

Today was pretty normal. Lots more dirty clothes piling up. I finally had to put some in garbage bags to save until the washer repairman comes tomorrow. I could go to the laundry mat, but that takes too much time and energy, LOL. And, it is terribly boring to sit there for hours, so I'll just do laundry every hour of the day for the next 2 weeks or more.

Rita, 12, and Marc, 13, are excited for tomorrow's track meet. They will be going against the other middle school in our area. Rita usually is 1st or 2nd, and so is her relay team. Marc does long distance, and I cannot believe he can actually do the 1500, I can't even do one lap, LOL. Marc will also be in a band concert in a city about 1 hour away, before the meet. He has it all planned out as to clothes changes. But, he did forget his money, so I had to rush it over to the school. I spend so much on gas.

Transportation is something that takes a lot of money. I recently bought a 12 passenger, used, van, and it took $83.00 the other day to fill it up, and that was before the rate increase!! I also have two other mini vans, one is a 7 passenger and the other is an 8 passenger. I sure wish I could trade in one mini van and get a small, very economical, 4 door to drive around for groceries, and dropping off money for a child who forgot the money, but I wouldn't get enough for either van.

When I was a child, we had no money worries. My parents did have a lot of money, and I was pretty spoiled. I never had to pay for anything out of my huge allowance, and I even got a 1956 For TBird for my 16th birthday!!! Can you imagine. It was a beauty. It was white on the exterior, and black and white on the interior. It was a hard top convertible, and had seats for only two people. It was basically something to have others look at, and it did get a lot of attention. It was the type that didn't have the port holes though. It was pretty easy to take off the top, but you couldn't store it in the trunk, you had to just leave it in the garage or where ever. But, I loved that car. When I went to college, something happened to me...I don't know what...I traded it in for a Ford Fairlane!!! It had more room. I still cry every time I think about that car, LOL.

Boy do I ramble on. I'm not sure how I got from financial problems to the TBird. Oh yes, I know...I now know the challenges of handling money, but I love the challenge, most of the time. I have envelopes, locked up, with money for things like food, gas, gifts, home repairs, car repairs, etc. The box is then locked up in a closet. That way I am not as tempted to borrow from an envelope for something I probably really didn't need. It builds up, so I am usually able to pay for tires, etc. with cash. Right now, I have no extra bills, except the house and medical bills. Things are really tight, but I take pride in knowing our credit has top ratings. The challenge of keeping things paid on time is something that I like. But, I also realize that many people cannot even do that, no matter how hard they try. I am truly blessed.

April 24, 2007

Well, I guess it is about time I start a journal of my daily activities, discoveries, and frustrations. Today that is called a blog. I'll just call it My Journal.

Email is a strange way for people to communicate. One just reads the words, but can't see the expression or body language of the person who is speaking. Often, people misinterpret what others say. But, that happens in "real" life also.

Anyway, I received an email today that made my heart skip a beat or two or three I am sure. I delete a lot of messages, but this one was a bit different. I opened it, which I rarely do if I don't know the sender, and it basically said it was from an assistant director of a famous, popular talk show. I couldn't quite believe it at first, and thought it was just some teen trying to give me a heart attack. It said the Assistant Director/Producer of the Montel Williams Show had visited my site and wanted to have me and my family flown to New York City for taping of a show on "Amazing People." Was this real? Maybe it was just a teen trying to make my heart stop. But, the email address seemed to be okay. But...Me??? Now, I don't consider myself amazing in any way whatsoever, but I must admit I sure would love a free trip to NYC!!

I went to their website and felt the person's email address was connected to the show. Oh my, me? ALL my kids? You have got to be kidding!! Then, I quickly thought of an internet friend, Amanda, who has 18 children at home.

About 2 weeks ago they had a house fire, which left only the shell of their home left. They are living in a small rental, until their home is rebuilt. I worry about their insurance not covering everything. Praise the Lord, though, no one was hurt. Can you imagine 20 people running from a house fire in the middle of the night? I am thankful we have practiced getting out of the house quickly in an emergency.

I also decided to also give her the name of another mom, who has "several" children.

So...I emailed the assistant director back, telling her about my friends. In case you might want to help Amanda's family, their website is: http://www.familyplushome.com/ . And, at the same time maybe a TV viewier will decide to adopt a child, or two. Wouldn't that be wonderful? I so want to "spread the word" that all children need homes, including those who are considered "special needs kids." I really don't like labeling kids, but some kids do have a tougher time finding families: those who are handicapped, those who are part of a sibling group, older kids, or those who are of a minority race. I so love all my kids, and I want others to know that all kids are loveable and adoptable.

When I told the kids about the lady's offer, they started screaming with excitement. I had to quickly remind them that I said "probably no." Rita, who is 12, was a bit angry, and asked "Why mom? We might not ever get to go to New York City. Write her back and tell her we will go." When I explained that I felt another family deserved to go because their home burned, they quickly agreed. I am so proud of my kids. Rita then added, "Yes, that would be right...but...could you write her and tell her we will do it if the other family doesn't want to go?" I think she wants to go to NYC, LOL.

Laundry. It is a never ending job, no matter what sized family you have. We have two washers and two dryers. I wish we had one more pair, but there would be no room anyway. Well, about 3 weeks ago, one washer stopped spinning. I didn't have the cash to get it fixed right away, so the dirty clothes started to pile up, piles and piles of dirty clothes. Some started to smell a bit, even though I tried to be sure to wash the oldest ones first. A couple of years ago, I bought the "best" washers and dryers, the Maytag Neptune. But, we didn't buy the extended warranty, bad mistake by a large family. The man came last week, and said it could be one of three things, each expensive. I hoped it would be the least expensive, but it ended up being the most expensive part. And...it couldn't be replaced until the next week. That day is tomorrow, at least I hope he comes tomorrow. He did tell me that Maytag was bought out by Whirlpool, and they have a great washer called Duet. I guess I won't be finding out if it is good or not.

My son, Mark, is now 13 years old. He will be going to highschool this coming fall. It is hard to believe that this neat young man still has pieces of a brain tumor in his head. He is in his second year of Band, playing the trumpet. He also does the 1500 and 800 for his middle school track team. He loves it!! He has Tuberous Sclerosis, which causes skin problems on his face, looking something like acne. Those must be protected with sunscreen, or they could turn into cancer.

Two days ago, just before track practice, some tall girls started making fun of his putting on the sunscreen. They said things like, "Why are you doing that? Can't you see there are clouds in the sky?" He just said that his mom told him to do it. His sister, who is 12, heard it but was too afraid of the girls to say anything. When they left, she went over to Mark and said, "Are you okay Mark?" He said, "Yah, I'm fine." She told me that she felt so sorry for him, and now wishes she had had the guts to have said something directly to the girls. My son wasn't too upset about it, though, but often he just holds those types of things in, and then late at night he will come to me with tears in his eyes.

A few minutes ago, Mark came to me to read me some poems he had written. He loves to draw intricate pictures, and write poetry. This one had to do with the joys his heart felt.

If I continue this journal, or do it daily, it is going to take too much of my time, and too much of your time to read, LOL. It will be interesting to see how often I do this.

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