This is our son, Jay, who is now 22 years old. The picture on the left is when he was 13, and the one on the right was taken when he was about 18 years old. Isn't he a handsome, self-assured young man!




He was born with Down's Syndrome, and he come home to us when he was only 17 days old. At that time, he was in need of heart surgery (pretty common for kids with Downs Syndrome). He was a scrawny little thing, and pretty weak. The doctors hoped he could wait until he was about a year old, for a heart operation. When we picked him up at the airport, the lady who escorted him, handed me a bottle of medication. She said the birth dad said it was just for the plane trip, and I could stop the medication. That was late on a Friday, and I was a bit concerned about the medication, so I continued it until the following Tuesday. On Tuesday, I took him to our doctor, showed him the medication, and he said it was good I kept giving him the medicine. His heart was very bad, and taking him off would have put him in a cardiac arrest!!! Our lawyer contacted the birth parents. The birth father said it would have been better for everyone if he would have died!!! This was a private adoption, but a closed adoption. There has been absolutely no communication ever since that day. It definetly would not have been better for everyone. We can't imagine if he wasn't a part of our lives.

Jay is...well...he is one of the most enjoyable, forgiving, loving people I have ever met. Kids sometimes make fun of him, but in a minute or two, he will say, "That is my best friend." I used the word "say" but I really meant...that is what he tried to say. He understands everything we say, but it is very, very hard to understand what he is saying. It can be frustrating sometimes, but mainly for us. He has patience, most of the time, to just keep trying and trying.
Update: January 1, 2004
Boy has time gone fast. Jay is now 22 years old. He graduated and walked with all the other kids at his school. He gave a big wave to the audience, and everyone clapped loudly for him. You should have seen his smile!! He now has his first paying job. He works part-time at our local community college, doing recycling. He goes by city bus, and the bus people check on him each day to be sure he transfers to the correct bus. Last week he got his first paycheck, a whole 52 dollars. He dressed up and took his 9 year old sister out for lunch, paying with his own money. They looked soooo cute. Would we adopt another child with Down Syndrome? Oh yes!!

I wrote a poem about him, which is following this piece. I wrote it when he was in the 5th grade. We believe in "inclusion"...having a child with a handicap in a regular class, with an aide. Things would be adapted, so he wouldn't be required to learn everything, just a part. At first his teacher was totally opposed...she felt it was not best for Jay, not good for the other kids, and totally too much work for her. After about 1 month, Jay changed her mind. He wasn't an easy kid, sometimes his behavior wasn't the best, but the kids in the class began to see Jay as their friend. By the end of the year, some kids even cried when they found out they would not be going to the same school ad Jay next year.

Anyway, here is my poem, a long one, but I think it says a lot. In case you don't quite understnd it, it's written from the perspective of the classroom itself, and speaks also of the future of the children and Jay. I hope you like it, but please do not use it without my permission. You can go back to my homepage by a link at the end of this page.