Adoption: A Family Choice


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Bea

Bea, 17, and her friend at the Valentines Dance-1996

The picture above is one of my favorites. Bea has Down's Syndrome, and repaired cleft lip and palate. She has always been a very confident, popular person. Her trust and love for everyone has been one of her endearing gifts. She is an excellant reader, and reads on about a 8th grade level.

  • Bea earned a top Medallion, which is the highest honor that her Girls' Club gives out.
    You can read all about it on my Girls' Club Webpage

    When my husband and I first started adopting, we felt that we needed to be very careful as to the "type" of child we could accept and love. Our first two children ("homegrown"), were above average in intelligence. We felt it would be unfair to them and to the new child, if there was a big difference in mental abilities. I laugh as I write this; it seems so "stupid."

    Anyway, we had 4 children back in 1978: two boys, and two girls by adoption. The Lord blessed us with the friendship of a family nearby, who had adopted several children with "special needs." In fact they had about 18 children at home...all at the same time! Their children by birth were members of Mensa (the group of people who have the top 10% IQ scores). They adopted children who other people felt were "unadoptable." All their children grew in their loving home. One boy, Joseph, had Downs Syndrome. This child's love just radiated from his body. He opened my heart.

    As a child, I visited a State Hospital in California with my mom. She was a music therapist there, and she tried to teach me to feel sorry for the many people there who were handicapped. She felt her job was a blessing to the pitiful people who were basically "useless." I never did quite understand that point of view, but I never questioned it.

    I fell in love with Joseph. As we began to think of the kind of child we could accept, we heard about a lady in New York. She had one child with Down's Syndrome, and she often talked with mothers who had just given birth to a child with Down's. She tried to show the new mom's that these children can grow and learn and be a wonderful part of a family. Sometimes that didn't work, so she would give information on adoption agencies, etc.

    We contacted her, to see if she knew of any children with Downs that needed a home. At first she could give us no real leads. Then one day she called us to tell us about a baby girl who had Downs. This infant was being placed through an agency in another. We were quite interested, but then she told us the baby also had cleft palate and lip. Oh, Oh, maybe this is just too much to accept. We did not have experience with cleft palate & lip, the feeding the surgeries, speech, and on and on. And to add in Down's...we were afraid it would be too much for us. As I look back, I honestly don't know what changed our minds, but we know the Lord was laying this tiny little baby upon our hearts.

    Three months later, we brought her home.

    Today, she is a senior in highschool, and thinking about her future as an independent adult. She has the same hopes and dreams as any senior: find a good paying job, marriage, maybe a child or two, and deciding how to spend her own money. Our school district has a wonderful post-highschool program, where she will be able to continue her education, learn living skills, etc. until she is 21 years old. Bea would like to take a few classes at our local community college, or be a waitress, or a childcare worker, or a teachers aide.



    UPDATE: Bea is now 24 years old!! Wow, how the years have flown. She graduated with her friends, and now has two part-time jobs. She works at an ice cream restaurant, and absolutely love it!! She also works one hour a day at a vet's office. That was kind of funny at first, because she is pretty cautious around animals, especially rabbits. She had to be reassured that there aren't many rabbits there, and if there was, she wouldn't have to be around it. She is one of the most caring, giving people I know. If anyone, even a stranger, talks of a need, she is right there, willing to give all her money to them. It's too bad she's not super wealthy, otherwise I'd have a new home, a new car, a trip to Europe, all in a week!! We have to convince her to save her money, and not give it away to strangers even.

    I will write more about her surgeries, parent training, socialization, teenaged years and such, at some later time.




    This is Bea when she was about 3 years old. Isn't she cute?!!

    I've had visitors to this page, since November 17, 1997.



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