Adoption: A Family Choice
Do Not Copy, Reproduce, Publish, etc., any article, story, picture, etc., from any part of this website, without my permission. Advocate Award Speech by Mom

Honorary Child Advocate Award


Speaking in front of people is not something I really enjoy, and I am shaking in my boots right now. I spent a lot of time trying to write up something to read, but Ann told me to just speak from the heart…so here goes.

When Mary called up about the award, I wasn’t too impressed, because I don’t feel we deserve an award any more then any other family. Then I realized that this award is a reminder to me that we have been blessed with a multitude of learning adventures, all because we opened up our hearts to some of God’s children. There have been many joyous experiences, but there have been heart-breaking times too. There have been failures along with the successes. Each of our children has taught us something; it is just exciting to me to realize how much He has taught us, and how much others have learned from our kids. We have had the chance to see a child walk, a little child from Korea whose papers said, “Probably unadoptable,” one whom others felt would not even be able to use a walker, let alone walk on her own. She is now 18, a junior in a private Christian school, just finished a week long service project in Mexico, and she walks everywhere.

Even my own mom learned something. She and my father were wealthy, and prejudice. I grew up with their trying to instill in me a disgust of people of other races, others with handicaps, and even low income people. It didn’t work though, because God had other plans…for us, but also for them. When we told them we were adopting a child of another race, my mom tearfully said, “Oh Gloria, your father will have to leave his board positions at our local electrical board & the community college board, and we will have to leave town.” My father then said, “Ida, shut up.” That was shocking; I had never heard my father say that. Well, he didn’t quit the boards, they didn’t leave town, and something miraculous happened about ayear before my mom’s death at the age of 82. She came to me, with tears in her eyes, and said, “I never knew I could love a child of another race.” Think about that, just before her death she learned a little about God’s love for each of us!!

I must admit there have been some really tough times. We have experienced the chance to meet probation officers, we have gone through the death of a child, we have tried to “make” a child love, even though they probably never will be able to love or bond to anyone. We have heard two of the most frightening words a parent can hear: “Brain Tumor, surgery needed within a week, could die by morning…” Marc was 6 when an MRI showed the reason for his severe headaches: a huge, giant cell astrocytoma, the size of his fist was in the center of his brain. I cried, well actually I screamed, “No, no, not my little Marc.” My husband and I hadn’t told Matthew about the tumor, but Marc said, “Mom, I’m going to have surgery, aren’t I?” We hadn’t even mentioned the tumor or surgery. He needed 4 major brain surgeries in the last 2 years. Boy, has he taught us lot. He often prays, “God, thank you for giving me my mom and dad.” Marc is now a delightful 8 year old, and if he were here now, he would talk more than I do. He is also a model, so if you need a cute kid for a modeling assignment, give us a call.

Death…no parent thinks it will ever happen to him or her. Tom was profoundly blind, profoundly death, profoundly retarded. He was about 4 or 5 years old when we flew to another state to pick him up and bring him home. When I first met him, part of his head was just caved in…3/4 of his brain was non-functioning. I told my husband that there was no way we could parent a child who would never hug us, or even know who we were. He said we needed to pray. We took out a Bible, randomly opened it, and read the part about taking kids from the east, and there were also the words, “And everything will be okay.” Yes, those exact words were printed in the Bible. I haven’t found them since, though. Tom gave us the ability to love without getting anything in return, no hugs, no “I Love You,” but he was powerful in the affect he had on us, and even our little kids. They will say, even 5 years later, “Mom, I miss Tom. I miss pushing him in his wheelchair.”

I also want to make it clear, though, that we are not a “collector” family. We don’t around just wanting to “collect” more and more children. We have said “no” to taking a child. Once, I felt the Lord telling me ‘No that is not your child.” I didn’t know why at the time, but we told the agency we would not adopt that child. Later, we found out that the child had severe emotional problems, and we couldn’t have coped with that child. We have turned down others also.

Okay. Adoption for us also means taking a chance. There was a little 3 pound, 4 ounce baby girl. She was born with no eyes, part of her brain was in her nasal area so she basically had no nose…she had to breath through her mouth (supposedly a baby can’t breathe through their mouth, but she did). She had Amniotic Band Syndrome. It is really a very interesting thing. The amniotic sac ruptured, there was no fluid around the tiny pre-birth child, when it ruptured strings of the amniotic sac wrapped around the wiggly baby, cutting off finger and toe tips, they wrapped around her ankle, and three times around her neck. Most of these children die. Well, here she is today, 12 ½ years old. She has sung at a talent show, and for the Children’s Miracle Network Telethon. She would like to say something about “What Adoption Means to Me.”

Janice:
“I think…that what adoption is…it’s…it’s not only a chance to go home with a family that loves you, but it is an inspiring chance for you to come into a home and love others just the same. And so I’m grateful for all these parents & people that are willing to do that especially with kids who really need all that love and all that respect. I just thank all of you for that.”

Mom again,
This song, Janice has sung at a talent show, and ended up getting wonderful applause for it. The words are very important for everyone to hear…so try to listen to each word, as Janice sings…from her Heart.

Then she sung, “Don’t Laugh at Me,” a country music song sung by Mark Willis.

Here is the song, "Don't Laugh at Me," The background music you hear is the music, and the words follow. (Recorded by Mark Wills on Mercury Records and words & music by Steve Seskin and Allen Shamblin). I'm the little boy with glasses, The one they call a geek. I'm the little girl who never smiles, Cause I've got braces on my teeth. And I know how it feels, To cry myself to sleep. I'm that kid on every playground, Who's always chosen last. I'm a single teenage mother, Trying to overcome my past. You don't have to be my friend, But is it too much to ask, CHORUS: Don't Laugh at Me, Don't call me names, Don't get your pleasure from my pain In God's eyes, We're all the same, Someday we'll all have perfect wings. Don't laugh at me. I'm the cripple on the corner, You pass me on the street. I wouldn't be out here begging, if I had enough to eat. Don't think that I don't notice that our eyes never meet. I lost my wife and little boy, Someone crossed that yellow line, The day we layed them in the ground, Was the day I lost my mind. Right now I'm down to holding this little cardboard sign CHORUS I'm fat, I'm thin, I'm short, I'm tall, I'm deaf, I'm blind, Hey aren't we all? CHORUS

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